It has been slightly over a week since the coronavirus situation affected me directly. With the mandate to telework, I have more opportunities to connect with my inner landscape.
I notice that I am being asked to apply my learning to a new level of challenge. It is like the self that I am familiar with and confident about is fighting with the new me that is emerging!
Since we are all in this together, I want to share my experiences with you. Maybe you will resonate with them or maybe they will spark something else in you.
Moving from Fear to Being Present
The little bits of news, data, analyses or opinions that I gathered from the social media stirred up anxiety in me. There had been times that I felt so worried and fearful about my future that it disturbed my sleep.
During the subsequent week, the more I remembered to breath slowly and deeply, the faster the constriction, negative thought and feeling in me would dissipate. It is empowering and liberating at the same time! I have been sleeping much better since.
Last Wednesday I realized how silly it was to focus on a distant future that I can’t predict or control while ignoring the beautiful day right in front of me! As I directed my attention to the bird chirping, gentle breeze against my face, the colorful flowers, blue sky and sunny day, a sense of gratitude, peace and joy came over me. The present moment is such a gift!
What Is the Future that I Stand For?
This idea came to me a few days ago…
In the midst of uncertainty is infinite possibilities. If I am in this unpredictable time and space where anything is possible, what will I want to create more of?
Many great teachers have talked about how our thoughts create our reality. Our actions and choices are results of what we think is possible or not. I am learning to be more vigilant with my choices, actions and words.
When people talk about how the stores run out of disinfectant or sanitizers, I offer simple recipes to make our own.
When people complain about being stuck at home, I talk about the time we have to rest, take walks outside or be in nature.
When concerned families pressure me about stocking up on masks or groceries, I check in with my situation and determine what is appropriate for me instead of giving in to their fear.
Instead of expending my time and energy on the woes and chaos in the world, I journal about the future that I want to create. This feels like developing a different part of my brain, and it’s fun and uplifting!
Dream, Plan, and Adjust
Earlier this year, I told my employer of 20 years I decided to pursue my dreams and calling. The plan was to leave my employer in April. With the coronavirus situation, my work and personal situations took an unexpected detour. As a result, my resignation is postponed.
Any planning or strategizing would not have prepared me for this situation. As I let go of my plan and surrender to Mother Life, I remain clear on what is the most important to my well being, heart and soul.
I don’t know what my path forward will look like. Beneath the mental chatter that leads to doubts and fear, there is a deeper knowing within me that says my time will come. So I keep praying for Divine Grace and Miracles for me and the world!
In the meantime, I focus on one step at a time and do my best to stay present in the moment. After all, how I feel about the present moment is what I can control.
May Peace Be With You and Yours,
Carmen