If there is one thing I have been learning from COVID-19, the recent riots and unrest related to George Floyd and racism, it is raising my awareness on how I handle situations that are unexpected, unpleasant, unfair, frustrating and scary.
The judgements I have about others also got accentuated during this period, opening me to numerous opportunities to cultivate greater compassion and respect for others who are different from me.
The habits I have been building from over a decade are allowing me to be resilient enough to process the avalanche of challenges and emotions that are coming up.
Many people consider me as naturally optimistic. What they don’t know is the level of courage and commitment it takes me to be with unpleasant thoughts and feelings so that these parts of me have their “voices.” I have learned that dismissing or ignoring these “negative thoughts and feelings” blocks my connection with my whole self.
By acknowledging my internal states instead of blaming others for circumstances, it creates more room within me so that I can handle situations more objectively and effectively.
Being resilient is not necessarily about pushing our way through difficult circumstances or forcing us to be positive so that we can get our way. It is about acknowledging what is without judgement so that we can access other parts of ourselves instead of letting our emotions run amok. Often times it requires us to let go of control.
In that state, we are less likely to blame or consider ourselves helpless, and we will be more able to find constructive ways to turn the tide.
After attending my Emotional Resilient workshop recently, a woman told the group that she was able to feel her feelings. She set time aside to be with her emotions. It’s like taking time to be with a friend in need.
She might cry as she felt waves of emotions, but when she allowed the feelings to be there and move through her, she was able to feel the joy underneath. Others have reported similar experiences and felt less overwhelmed. As a result, they gained insights on what they can change and what is out of their control. The process took a few minutes, but the gain was tremendous.
I was taking my evening walk when an African-American man greeted me by the train station. When I smiled back politely, he raised his voice saying “How are you doing?” again, but it was as if he was asking if I heard or saw him.
What flashed through my mind was “Do I have any judgement about this stranger who does not resemble the appearance of people in my social circle?”
I was alarmed to notice a subtle level of judgement and assumption I had about him. At that moment, I decided to make it right. I turned my head, looked him in the eye and responded to him.
As he saw me running my hand over the flowers, he asked if it was for good luck. Without waiting for my response, he jumped in and mimicked what I did. I walked away laughing and quietly asked Divine Mother to bless him.
When I came back to the train station after a loop, he approached me and thanked me for showing him the way. He felt a strong wave of energy as he ran his hands over the flowers. I was touched by his sincerity and the spirit in his eyes. I was also excited that he felt what I felt! We exchanged names before I headed home.
My simple encounter with this young man left such a mark in me about human connection. This “stranger” has helped me raise my awareness and so much more!
Namaste,
Carmen