When I recently learned that a family member was hospitalized due to internal bleeding, my mind quickly jumped to the worst-case scenario. Luckily an “angel” reminded me to attend to my fear with compassion and acceptance.
Attending to fear means holding the fear with compassion. Acceptance is different from acquiescence. Acceptance is being fully engaged in the situation even when things do not turn out the way we want.
When we cultivate the ability to be present with our thoughts and feelings without judgement, our loving presence transmutes scary thoughts and upsets. We find peace and clarity on the other side.
When I acknowledged my fear without making them wrong, my body relaxed and I felt spacious within. This allowed me to be a stabilizing force for my family during the crisis.
Our body’s ability to heal is greatly hindered by fear or worry. Stress causes the body to produce chemicals for handling emergencies. This shift in priority prevents the body from releasing chemicals for healing and clear thinking.
Under excess stress, the mind cannot fully handle the complexity of a situation. It takes shortcuts, oversimplifies the situation, and attributes the problem to causes that match our dominant thinking.
When we view a situation through a narrow perspective, it limits our abilities to comprehensively address the challenge. We end up making choices that perpetuate or complicate the situation.
In the case of my family member, his herbalist said that the western medications were weakening his digestive system. On the other hand, his western doctor claimed that the herbs were causing the ulcer.
Do you see the parallel between this situation and other times in life when one party blames the other for the problem? The one pointing the finger at the other often neglects their role in the situation.
While solving problems, we inherently want to identify the “guilty party.” That leads us to dualistic thinking. The judgement or position we hold often prevents us from taking responsibilities for the situation.
In my case, I was stewing on the conflicting views of the health care providers and the family’s distress, but my “angel” reminded me to take responsibility for my fear and thoughts so that I can shed light on the situation.
Any healing I offered to my family would have been greatly discounted if I had held onto judgement against anyone involved with the situation. When I held my family with compassion and acceptance, my effort magnified in effectiveness.
A mentor recently invited me to participate in a group healing for a woman in her 30s. Her father requested as many healers as possible to support her daughter. He was ready to cover all the fees.
While the father’s request was honorable, I sensed that he needed healing along with the daughter. In my experience, healing is expedited for the child when the parent is willing to heal their relationship with the child’s “issue.”
Our connections with our families run deep. In healing their relationship with the child’s condition, the concerned parent is essentially taking responsibility for their role in the situation. The child’s condition is not a “separate” issue.
I was adamant about the father receiving healing with the daughter so that we can resolve the systemic cause within the family. I later learned that when the daughter was born, neither parent wanted to take care of the baby.
If we do not address the original cause, we can have many healers or many sessions, but the results would not be sustainable. By healing the relationship between the parent and child, both parties will be better support for each other.
I do not know whether the parent or the healing group will adhere to my suggestion. My role is to hold all involved with compassion and acceptance. It is loving acceptance that matters most in any healing.
Many of our challenges have immediate causes and original cause. When we prioritize instant gratification, we focus on addressing immediate causes. As a result, we face similar challenges disguised as different people or situations.
When we address systemic patterns stemming from the original cause, many other issues resolve gracefully and unexpectedly. We can’t address original cause if we don’t look at our relationship with anything that distresses us.
Instead of only focusing on clients’ concerns, I hold the intention that they will have a second chance in life. Lugging old baggages around is exhausting! We free ourselves from many burdens when we work with the original cause.
We do not have to fall victim to our circumstances. The less baggage we carry, the more available and capable we become no matter what. Contact me when you feel moved to become more available to you and those you care.