Life Solutions

Choosing Love When It’s Difficult

A friend mentioned people often ask her to send them healing energy or prayers, but they are not interested in taking time to have healing sessions with her. The implication is: they are not willing to do deeper work.

I can relate to her comment, and I also know that we need to meet people where they are. It is easier said than done, and life gives me many opportunities to practice. Recently I realized that this practice is an expression of love. 

A friend hurt her back before she moved to an independent living community. I sensed that her energy needed to be “reset” for the transition, so I offered my help. She sidestepped my offers and chose to rely only on conventional routes.

When I visited her, I was surprised that she was confined to her bed and wheelchair. I told myself I would not bring up energy healing again, but she initiated a conversation about why she couldn’t engage with me in healing work.

She couldn’t see how I could help her without touching her. She questioned how I work and how I charge my work. I felt she was conflicted and was seeking help to unravel her beliefs around spirituality, healing and money.

Instead of defending or justifying why I do what I do, I focused on holding love. Letting her express what had been bothering her was important to me. I asked myself how I would engage in this conversation if this were our last one.

I was about to leave when she suddenly asked me to pray for her. That was a breakthrough because she had not asked for my help because we had different spiritual orientations. I had no idea that would be the last time I saw her.

Her unexpected passing brought up mixed emotions for me. Our last conversation was the frankest one we had ever had. I am grateful that we spoke openly and lovingly. My prayer brought her peace and gave me closure.

When we care for someone, it is tempting to impose what we think is best for them and run with it. I had a pattern of needing others to be okay so that I can be at peace. My practice now is to be at peace regardless of others’ choices and conditions.

Loving someone without conditions includes respecting their choices, even when they do not make sense or do not match our priorities, values or beliefs. As we love and honor others, it is also important to not lose ourselves. 

A woman was upset because her friends had been trying to convince her to heal her body naturally with a teacher’s protocol. Although she has been an avid follower of the teacher, she is clear that she needs the surgery.

Through our conversation, she realized it is important to let her friends know that the surgery is her priority. Regardless of how they choose to help her, their support will be a lot more effective if they keep her priority in mind.

Being super clear about what we want and being able to declare it are so important. It is how we let the Universe support us. Some use God’s will as the reason for subjugating their desires. Others are afraid that their desires would offend God.

I often help clients get clear on their priorities. To me, if their priorities are not aligned with the Divine will, circumstances will arise and redirect them. If they are indecisive out of fear of picking the wrong goal, they are not choosing love.

Love is the antidote to fear; trust is the antidote to anxiety.

I have also seen people tamp down their desires because they let family history, friends’ opinions, diagnoses, prognoses, or astrological predictions get in the way. We are not choosing love when we go against our own knowing.

Reflecting on my journey with my friend who passed away recently, it was hard for me to accept her choices early on. Every time I was triggered by her no, I had to explore why I took it personally and use my tools to redirect my thinking.

With practice, I was able to stay neutral in our last conversation while standing firm in what I knew was true. Despite our differences, we respected and appreciated each other. 

Choosing love when it’s difficult requires us to feel secure about ourselves. When we are conflicted, the nervous system and body chemistry cannot function properly. As a result, we compromise our happiness and well-being.  

When we are secure about ourselves, we stop wasting time and energy to engage in projects, activities or battles that are less than satisfactory. We free ourselves to focus on what matters most so that we can experience greater joy.

If you have been gradually disappearing because you are so used to letting others’ opinions or priorities dictate your choices, it is time to choose You! Contact me for a free consultation and see how I can support you.

With Love,

Carmen

I help clients regain vitality,
transcend limitations, and
rise to their magnificence.

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